Update and General Crap

Ah, the first day of school. Mere days after I beat down some old lady over the last box of no. 2 pencils, it's time for the kids to get up before noon. Virginia was her usual enthusiastic self. She has been talking non-stop about the wonders of 3rd grade and the fact that she will now be going to an "intermediate" school. "I'm a grown up, now," she proclaimed.

"Awesome," I said. "Mortgage is due on the 1st of the month, but I'll let you slide until the 4th. We'll split it in thirds. It's your turn to buy milk."

She favored me with one of her signature scowls. "I don't have any money."

"Sure you do. In your virtual bank."

"That money is for my Nintendo DS! I've been working for weeks!"

"Such is the sacrifice of being an adult. Food or Nintendo DS? Choices, my love."

She thought long and hard for a minute. Then, hopefully, "Can it be chocolate milk?"

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My dad is out of the hospital, finally. He got significantly worse and had to be helped to do most things. At some point, he barely made it to the handicrapper before losing all strength in his legs. Unable to reach the call button for the nurse, he did the only thing he could think of.

"I called information from my cell phone, called the front desk and asked 'em to get someone down here to help me."

If that isn't a cell phone commercial, I don't know what is.