Wednesday, April 11, 2012

When She Stops Believing It Will Break My Heart

Harmony is certain that I have a direct line to Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy and every other mythical creature that permeates our holidays.

Chris and I are still adapting to the kid sharing thing (neither of us can quite get used to not seeing her every day) and Sunday, she spent Easter with his family in Arkansas. Since I didn't get to see her, I planned a small Easter egg hunt for her on Tuesday morning before I took her to school. I stuffed eggs, put her to bed, realized she was still awake so I crawled out the window into the backyard like a lunatic and carefully placed brightly colored eggs and glitter nail polish and travel size bubble baths all over the yard.

There's only so much shit you can stuff into those tiny eggs, so I improvise.

Tuesday morning when she noticed the first egg through the window she squealed in delight and then that maddening but impressive logic of hers took hold. "Mommy, I already got stuff from the Easter bunny. Why did he come again?"

I wasn't sure what to say. "He had extra stuff. There was a drawing, you won."

"But shouldn't he give it to kids who didn't get anything?"

"He has a quota to fill."

"What's a quota? And why would he come on a Tuesday?"

"He had time off, his Union required it, health conscious parents are asking him to deliver tofu and bean sprouts so you get junk food. Just enjoy it, baby."

Still confused, but excited by the prospect of another egg hunt, she finally relented and went in search of goodies. She always misses one or two and I had to get her to school, so I stood by the ones she overlooked and urged her to keep hunting. One egg was simply impossible for her to find and she finally threw her hands up in frustration. "Momma, just call the Easter bunny and ask him how many eggs he put out so I make sure I don't miss any."

"The Easter bunny doesn't have a cell phone, honey."

"Everyone has a cell phone, Mommy. Santa has one. You call him every year when I'm bad."

"Right, but that's Santa. The Easter bunny is old school."

"Then how did you know he was coming today?"

"Um. He ... sent me a letter."

"I wanna see!"

"You know what, I just remembered he does have a cell phone. Calling now."

Ever tried to make a fake phone call to the Easter bunny while a very savvy 5 year old stands by your side, scrutinizing every word? Hoping that no incoming calls shattered the deception, I finally completed the fake call and told her to look for one more. After a few more minutes, and me all but standing on the damned thing, she was frustrated again. "Mommy, call him back and ask him for a map of where he put everything."

"Honey, he can't text a map."

"Sure he can. Have him take a picture of it and send it in a message."

I sighed and pointed. "There Harmony. There's the egg."

Techonology is ruining the magic.


Evyl Robot Michael said...

Again, I'm glad to see you back at it. Maybe I don't have a heart. Never did push the mythical creatures on the kiddo. Despite that, he tried very hard to believe in Santa. Poor guy.

Osbasso said...

How can you get exasperated with someone who's got eyes like that??

Sarah said...

My almost 10 year old still believes, my 6 year olds also. I don't know what I will do when they stop, my heart will break also!

I've never thought about it from the single parent perspective, although so many go through it. I suppose I was lucky to be raised by my single mother with no father in the picture?

Not a Granny said...

My Lord she is beautiful!!

I get to play Easter Bunny for the grandkids now!! Love it!

Unknown said...

We went to three egg hunts this year. Our usual family one, a neighborhood one (because we just moved in and doggonit I'm going to get what I pay for in homeowner dues) and then friends invited us over on Easter at the last minute so we went to theirs as well. I'm a bit egg-hunted out now.

WyzWmn© said...

she is so beautiful...a testament to her mommy...altho her logic seems to be on a higher scale than her mom's sometimes :o)

Mrs. Who said...

Oh...the things we do for our kids. You're a good Momma!

Catrina said...

We have six grandkids, and grandkid #3 pulled me aside just as we were walking outside for the hunt, and informed me that he knows what's going on, but he'd help the smaller ones hunt if I wanted. I had to excuse myself to the bathroom to pull myself together! Don't remember it being this heartbreaking with our kids.

mommiebear2 said...

Mine are 11 & 10 and this seems to be the last year they are going to believe. They have started asking the dreaded question and I do my best to skirt around it the best I can. BTW, beautiful pic!!!!

WharfRat said...

Oh my lordy, I think the last time I read your blog, Harmony was maybe three...such a beautiful little girl!

LSU Tigers Fan said...

Harmony is a beautiful girl. I predict she will break lots of boys hearts when she gets older and they discover that girls are not "icky."

I'm very sorry for your circumstances, but I have to confess that I'm glad to see you writing again. The internet hasn't been the same during your absence.

Jessie said...

I found you yesterday and sat down to read your last few posts just now. I don't know your whole story but I will say that you have one of those voices that needs to be heard because it is the voice of many. You may very well be a train wreck but unfortunately many of us can relate to this or that life trauma and I for one am so very glad to be able to tune in and hear your point of view. Have a beautiful and blessed day.

northierthanthou said...

Lol, your daughter is quite the firecracker.

BikerbabeNJ said...

not only is she GORGEOUS, but she's smart too!

Unknown said...

OM gosh, she was a small small child, when I last read you, as OLD WOMAN THAT LIVED IN A SHOE. so glad I found you again. I'll be catching up.. peanut,, five..FIVE.. I'm now the grandmother of a FIVE YEAR OLD.. how can that be?