Monday, April 09, 2012

Full Circle

Here I am again. Back at my old job, the one I had when I started this blog, single mother, again and more confused than ever.

I think I've left this blog sitting here, unattended, because I don't laugh as much anymore. I don't find the humor in the most mundane shit like I used to. Then I started thinking, maybe it's because I'm not looking or noticing.

I don't know but I do know this: writing got me through a lot of things when nothing else seemed to help. I don't care who listens or hates me anymore, I have too much going on in my real life to be mired down in that crap any longer.

Maybe I need this again. Maybe I need handfuls of pills and therapy and a monkey to talk to. This is cheaper.

56 comments:

Courtney said...

I, for one, am glad you're back! You're in my RSS feed, so I think about you often and wonder how you are, even when the feed is quiet. I'm in a funk myself, and have been for some time. Maybe reading about you working through your stuff will help pull me out of this hole I'm in. I've always admired you for your strength and honesty, and if anyone doesn't feel the same about you, they can go to hell and die.

Courtney said...

AAAAGH! And I just notice the note at the top that says my comment has been saved and will be visible after you've approved it. Sorry for being dumb. Feel free to delete them all if you're so inclined.

Marilyn said...

Hey, so, believe it or not, I started reading like 3 entries before uh, well you stopped regularly writing. And I thought, man, this is an interesting drama laden blog of interestingness.

Anyways, I don't know what your old job is, but I hope it doesn't suck too bad.

I don't know what happened with the man in your life, but I hope you'll get through it okay.

Anyways. Welcome back.

MMC said...

Happy to be one of your monkeys. Looking forward to you regaining your sense of humour (and sharing it with all us monkeys).

BTW have I ever shared my favourite mantra with you? "This too shall pass. This too shall pass." Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Grue said...

Some of us are still here....

*hug*

cd0103 said...

So sorry. I have missed you

Luck o' the Irish said...

Whatever you want to talk about here or not talk about here, welcome back. You have been missed!

Kelly said...

Glad to see you back! Wow, lots of changes. Best of luck, and know that there are people hoping for the best for you and your family!

bub said...

Hope it's for real this time. You're missed.

brent said...

Ok. you do the writing I'll do the reading.

Sarah said...

Yay, you're back!

Roses said...

Honey, I *still* snicker about the day you dropped your headphones in the toilet and spent the rest of the day giggling to yourself, "I'm a poopy head!"

Your blog has been therapy for many, I think. ;-)

Amie Lessard said...

I'm sorry to hear you're not laughing as much anymore :(

You're still on my blog roll, I'll still read and I don't hate you :)

PJ said...

It's great to see you back!

Valerie said...

I was just thinking about you the other day. I hope you start writing again but if not just remember lots of faceless people in the computer care about you.

One Life said...

I just wanted you to know that someone is still out here in the world reading...and that people out here care. I know it's hard to believe right now but this isn't a failure it's a bump in the road, and it just means that God had more in mind for you than where you were.

I have been in some of the shoes you have walked in, and I know how hard it is. I just want you to know that yes - it gets better.

Hugs from a faithful follower, who has only lurked up to this point. Hang in there.

Not a Granny said...

Welcome back lady! Wish it was under better circumstances.

Kelly said...

Glad to see your back. Sometimes life sucks and you have to write about it in order to purge yourself. Life isn't always funny; write what you want.

Captain Tightpants said...

Good to see you back in terms of the writing - sorry to hear that things are rough. Hang in there, at least a few of us will still read.

Navy Bean said...

I'm sorry you're back under not the best circumstances, but I missed you and I'm glad you're back. Wish I could make everything better. Sending thoughts, prayers and hugs your way.

Jensboys said...

I am glad you are back. And sad life has lost its joy for you.

Victoria said...

I've read your blog for years, and was thrilled to see a post this morning after a long absence. Don't know what's going on in your life, but am glad to see you back regardless!

Anonymous said...

While I was surprised to see your post, I'm heartened by your realization that writing may be the best therapy for you.

Please know that you still have supporters out here in the 'verse.

I'll put you on the Good Thoughts (tm) list -- you and your kids. . . and your ex, for that matter.

@RantingRaving said...

Welcome back. I haven't even looked up your site in ages knowing you weren't blogging. Something made me wonder if you were back or not. Your humour always made me laugh at the worst possible times during a work day. :) Thanks for that.

Ladybug Crossing said...

Hi! Welcome back!
As Lucy from Peanuts used to say, "The Therapist is In". Remember, baby steps... we go through life one day at at time, one step at a time.
xo
LBC

WyzWmn© said...

I'm still here!
cos blogging does the same for me...the eternal over sharer
altho I'm not a Blogger blogger anymore...my old one directs to the new one...and that's cool too

mommiebear2 said...

I am sorry to hear that things are not going well. :( I do love the idea of you writing again.

Melody said...

Welcome back. I'm still here willing to listen to whatever you have to say. Ive followed your blog for a couple years now but I don't think I commented much. I just wanted to tell you someone is still here and ive never judged you for anything you posted.

Osbasso said...

We'll gladly be your monkey!

Hope this is a real return...you've been missed!

Ian said...

Hey, welcome back.

Mrs. Who said...

Oh, girl, so sorry for what you've gone through...but writing is good. The blogosphere ain't what it once was...but writing here is far better than writing on FB, imho. You'll still have listeners here.

Amber said...

I still check your blog weekly. Call me and we'll get together. Love you!

Melissa said...

FWIW I'm glad you're back.

Evyl Robot Michael said...

Welcome back, Crystal! Sorry to hear that you're up against some stress and stuff. Not fun.

Kelly D said...

I check the site every couple of weeks, just to see if you've come back. Sorry to hear that life has once again thrown you one mother of a curve ball. But I will admit that I was selfishly pleased because I am dying to know what happens to Finley. Glad you are back, and hope that writing helps you find your happy place again.

FaithEllen said...

Happy to be among the monkeys! (or mon-knobs)

Welcome back -- you've been missed.

Sarah said...

Sorry to hear about your challenges, but selfishly, I am glad you are back and writing again. I've kept you in my google reader in hopes you would come back.

Anonymous said...

For what it's worth... I'm on the other side of the world and had love your writing from a long long time ago.

Take care and hope you find your happy!

Margaret said...

It is good to see you here. ((you))

Kim said...

Glad to see you posting again...although I'm sorry that you're going through tough times.

It's funny, when I started reading your blog, I was married and stable. Now I'm a single mama to a kid with special needs, trying my best to make it through each day. Some days are easier and better than others, but through it all, I just keep trucking along. (Mascara smeared, ugly-crying, laughing like a loon ~ but truckin'! LOL)

Hang in there girlie ~ everyone says it gets better, and I'm trying to believe them!

Dayna said...

So glad you are back.
If nothing else finish Finley.

Helga said...

I am glad you are back and writing again so I can follow you again. I`really missed you and the stories about Caroline, she is simelar to my granddaughter Kathi.
Helga from far away Vienna/Austria

Sunny said...

Wow it is great you are back. You have to know you are not alone. You are a wonderfully talented writer. You will find the humorous things in everyday life again. Time will heal (some things faster than others). We all love you girl and have missed you. I am sorry for the hard times that you are experiencing.

Reasonable Female said...

What they said, chickadee. Welcome home! Where else does one go to lick one's wounds and regain their strength, but home. Glad to have you back, wish it were under better circumstances and may you refind your laughter. Sometimes, that and your big girl panties are all ya got.

Anonymous said...

Well check you out, all HERE and shit! I'm really glad you're blogging again and we get to read it. Chin up, kiddo. Things will start to make sense again.

I knows ya hates the anonymous, so

Becky Davis
Hermiston, OR

fleur0112 said...

I have no idea what's going on.

I found your blog several years ago and it immediately became a favorite. For a variety of reasons, after I started my last job three years ago, I kinda fell off the internet quite a bit. Sadly, I quit reading most sites.

Now, newly unemployed, I find myself cleaning out my computer and getting my job hunt on, and I find this bookmark again. And then I see that most of the blog is deleted.

So, clueless though I might be, I'm glad I clicked ... I hope you pick up writing again!!

angie said...

So glad to see you're back! Take care of yourself. I'll be praying for you!

MP said...

I came back.. I was gone.. I'm not sure anyone ever knew I was gone. I'm 45.. getting divorced and caring for my 86 and 91 year old parents.. wiping butts and changing depends.. there was depression, crying.. and now a year later I want to blog.. I am in a healthy relationship.. man shit sure does change. To be honest I didn't know you left.. cause I gave up.. I didn't laugh.. didn't want to laugh.. I wanted to laugh today and came here.. I'm glad I did.. (hugs)

Crystal Landrum said...

OMG! I've been neglecting my blog for so long that I didn't even realize you were back! I watched that feed like a hawk for months waiting to see something from you. Then I log in today, and voila! There's like 3 posts from you I haven't read. Made my YEAR. So not kidding! Sorry for the circumstances, but I'm thrilled you're back and wish you nothing but the best :)

Quirky Jessi said...

You wrote this 4 days after I hit the same thing, right dead on in the middle of my own....realizations...and occasional freakouts. When I first started reading it, I had to close the window and walk away.

2 months later, I came back to read the rest. Yes, I know it was a very short post, but the first sets of words killed me at the time. I wanted to reach out then, but well, I didn't have it in me, ya know? Now this is old, but I couldn't resist commenting anyway. I don't even know why or what the reason is. Maybe to say "I feel ya"? Or maybe a "thank you" for some reason? I don't know. Whatever it is, it brought me back months later because I left your post abandoned mid-sentence...mid-thought...mid-feeling....mid-life.

Al said...

While I am delighted to see you back in the blogosphere, I am saddened to hear the circumstances. You have written some of the most genuinely ROFL stuff I have ever read. Just don't let the trolls get you.

Dizzy Ms. Lizzy said...

Glad you're back writing, but SO sorry for the circumstances. But keep writing, if it helps you.....I'm a good listener (or reader, as in this case).

Dizzy Ms. Lizzy

Anonymous said...

What happened with Chris?

Carey H said...

Welcome back, Crystal. I've missed you!

-Carey in Austin

Johnny Virgil said...

I've missed you too!

Tami & Tori said...

I was so happy to see that you had written something, anything, in your blog. I have neglected my blog for most of the last 2 years because I had nothing nice to say anymore. We must have been living parallel lives.

I'm sorry that so much has happened to you but I am so glad that you've come back to your blog. I really missed you.

Hopefully things will lighten up and you will be inspired to write some more.